Tales of the Parodyverse

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L!
Thu May 03, 2007 at 12:47:30 pm EDT
Subject
The Conclusion to this Chad & Ronnie epic
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Parody Island.
The Basement of the The Lair Legion Mansion
Saturday Morning, 10-ish.

Sarah Shepardson, the woman know to world as Dancer, walks down a somewhat dark dank hallway to a small dimly lit room.

"Lee?" Sarah asked as she knocked on the door. She came down to ask Lee up to the Kitchen for Breakfast, they'll be testing out one NTU-150's toaster design which Al recently got working: it should be quite the show.

There was no answer at the door, she knocks again. Again no answer, so Sarah goes in. The room is still a mess but no sign of Lee. She did not that Lee started a new section on his bulletin board, this time it was about a woman. A woman with black hair & light blue highlights. Other then that, the room was as Lee had left it.

Sarah headed back up stairs, she didn't want to miss the action or a chance to have an English Muffin go Nuclear.

---------------


Someplace.
Somewhere.
Somewhen.

Ronald Arnold Gerrimoto Beeslyhuxtoy, more commonly known as Ronnie, knew one thing at the moment: His head hurt. Then another thought came to him: I need to throw up. And so, he did. It was in a corner.

"Uhhh." He moaned. He didn't feel any better & his head still hurt.

He beings to look around, he doesn't know where he is. It's like no places he's been before. This was not a good start to his morning. He was in his typical red & yellow PJ's & went to pick up the morning newspaper. When he did he found a small rectangular device, he pressed a button on it's side & woke up here on the cold metallic floor needing to barf.

While searching around the room for anything. He found something, he tripped over it. When he hit it, the item made a noise, a sound he had heard before. He had just tripped over an Accordion. Near the accordion, face down on the floor was Ronnie's companion & long time friend: Chadwick L. Swiss, more commonly known as Chad. He was past out. He was dressed in what he normally wore to bed (a white t-shirt & pair of navy blue shorts).

Ronnie's eyes began to become accustomed to the darkness, it was dimly lit from the floor & the ceiling around the edges of the room. It was circular but devote of anything else then Him, Chad, his Accordion & two other people. Ronnie went over to the nearest one, it was Jane. She was wearing her Tweety pajamas & was also past out. The last person in the room was Catherine, Chad's girlfriend. She was dressed in a faded grey T-Shirt & a pair of plaid drawn short pajama bottoms. She was also past out like the rest.

Ronnie went back over to Chad & sat down. He sat their for a few moment & then said "Where the heck are we?"

"I'm glad you asked that questions. I like Questions because Answers are my business." said a voice from the darkness. It was a voice Ronnie vaguely recognized. This time with was slightly crazed sounding. It also sounded a little angry but that was normal.

"Mr. Know-It-All?"

"NO! The name is BOOKMAN!" Lee scream as he pressed a button & metallic iris near where Ronnie sat opened. As it opened, the room began to be filled with bright sunlight.

Ronnie got up & looked out the window. "We're on the Moon?" he said after he turned back to see a crazed & some what disheveled Lee Bookman.

"Yes. My turf. I have home court advantage to use one of your Earth Sports terms." He said maniacally as he stared at Ronnie.

"Ok. But, why?"

"I needed a place where I controlled everything for our meeting, nothing could be left to chance."

"Ok. Why are they here?" Ronnie said & motioned to the others spread out over the floor.

"Research."

"What?"

"Research. These are people who know the most about you that I could find. There were others, I went through a list of around a hundred or so people. It came down to these three."

"Four." Ronnie said.

"What?"

"You forgot Little Cat."

"The animal is not a person."

"Says You!"

"Yes. I define the rules here in the Library for I am... the Librarian."

A panel near a large metallic door lit up. On it's screen it said that on Concourse Vonnegut a craft had just touched down. Lee choose to ignore it, people come to the Library all the time.

The Sunlight began to wake up the others.

Catherine began to wake up, as she did she mumbles to herself. "No, Batman. I'd love to be your sidekick, just along as I get to wear pants." Once she realized she wasn't in a cave under stately Wayne Manor, she asked "Where am I?"

Jane woke up & asked. "Ronnie? What's going on here?"

Chad said nothing but grabbed his Accordion & held it close.

"To answer the questions. We are all currently in a shut down learning out cove in the Moon Public Library. I am about to finally figure out the mystery behind Him!" Lee said as he pointed at Ronnie.

"What? You don't care about Chad?" Catherine asked.

"Yes. But, he's more a side interest, a way of knowing the real subject better. Mister Beeslyhuxtoy is the real reason I've done all my research, it all seems to come back to him. He have accounts, evidence, facts, figures, graphs, flow charts & more to prove that Mister Beeslyhuxtoy is the root of all evil!"

"He's Money? I mean that in a non 'Swingers' way." Catherine interjected.

"NO!" Lee yelled & appeared to break down a bit. "You people don't get it, he's corrupted you to much to his influence. He's had some hand in all the great tragedies of the last centuries or more."

As Lee talked he began to cry.

"Am I? I was?" Ronnie said shocked. He didn't know he was that important.

"YES, YOU ARE!"

Lee's screams were muffling all background noises, so no one knew someone was coming their way.

"ADMIT IT!" Lee yelled.

"Admit to what? That I'm evil?"

"YES!"

"I can't do that." Ronnie said matter a factly.

"WHY NOT?" Lee said, still crying & almost on his knees', pleading to Ronnie.

"That would be Lying & Lying is wrong. I've never lied, never have & hopefully never have to."

"WHAT?" Lee said jumping up.

"Yes?"

"You will admit to being evil if it's the last thing I do!" Lee said & that was the last thing he ever did do since seconds later he was shot in the head. A Bullet past through the back of his head & through his head. It came out his forehead almost dead center.

Lee dropped to the ground. Ronnie ducked & the Bullet became logged in the Window, it only cracked the plastic slightly.

Chad, Ronnie, Catherine & Jane all looked over to the shooter. He was standing in the now open doorway with another person. He had mid neck length brown hair was slightly messed, his skin was a bit pale & he wore frame less glasses (the sunlight shined a bit off the edges). He was wearing a long beige trench coat, the ends of the coat were frayed, dirty & a bit burnt. Under his coat, he had on a blue jumpsuit with gunmetal black leather belt. He had stylized yellow "L" on his silver belt buckle. On his hands is a pair of dark brown, well wore, gloves; the fingertips of the gloves are cut off exposing his fingertips. He also wore a pair of gunmetal black leather boots, that matched his belt, with dark brown leather straps.

To his right was a grey mechanical automaton that appeared to be wearing a Suit jacket & bow tie.

"Sorry about that." Lee Bookman said. "When left unattended those tend to go a bit wacky."

He turned slightly to A.L.F.RED & said "Would you be a good mandriod & clean that up before it stains the floor with oil & other fluids leaked from it's interior."

"Yes, sir." The Library's Majordomo said in his digitized british accent. He lurched forward as he made his way over to the body.

"*Ghurrrriiiiish* DIRECTIVE NOT COMPLETE. COMPUTER MALFUNCTION. ERROR 10." The Lee Bookman with a bullet hole in it's said as hit began to spark a bit.

The people still in there sleeping attire did a few series of double takes between the two Bookmans'.

"I bet you'd like an explanation, wouldn't you?" The live Lee Bookman said.

There were nods all around.

"Well, then. Let's go up to the Rare Manuscripts Reading Room up in the third room. They have come of the most comfortable chairs around here." He said & turned to leave the room.

The four humans, the Librarian & the android carrying a robotic double of his master soon followed.

They walked down the futuristic hallway, not saying much. Little robots scuttered up & down the hallway.

Just before they parted ways, Lee asked his butler. "Hey A.L.F.! Can you stop for a moment? I want to see what all the hub bub was about."

"As you wish, sir." A.L.F.RED said.

Lee ran his hand over the chest of his android double.

"How very dead like me." Catherine commented.

"Yes, I suppose so." Lee said as he started to ascend a spiraling metal staircase.

This brought the group (now minus A.L.F.RED) to the main area of the Library.

"wow." Someone said. Jane wasn't sure who said it because she did & neither did Ronnie, Catherine or Mr. Bookman. Did Chad? But he couldn't have: he doesn't say anything.

"Yes. I know. It sometimes takes my breath away, too." Lee said with some awe. "I've spent many a night just staring up at the painted rotunda." Lee said pointing to the domed roof.

"Who are they?" Ronnie asked.

"Past Librarians. One day, I'll be added up there to look down on the Library I've spent myself life in."

They walked over the marble like floor. They walk two flights on another metal spiral stair case.

"Here we are." Lee said as he entered a room over looking a balcony looking down on the main floor.

The Group followed soon after & all found seats.

Once they were all situated, Lee said. "I bet your all wondering what happened down there, aren't you?"

"Yes." Ronnie said.

"As along with being an associate member of the Lair Legion, I have many duties here & out in the cosmos. Sometimes I can't do it all so I need some help in robotic doubles. But, I'm not sure why I even use them since if not looked after they tend to start thinking they are me & doing things highly out of character for me like kidnapping four people & a hamster to have one confess to being the root of all evil."

Ronnie was about say something but Lee stopped him by continuing on. "I had employed this construct to help me out with my Lair legion filing duties. Sometime during that time their must of been some crossed wires that told it that Mister Beeslyhuxtoy was evil."

Ronnie was about say something but Catherine said "How would it think that?"

"Maybe during filing it was compiling files regarding Villain it had gotten some of my notes on Misters Beeslyhuxtoy & Swiss mixed in. They did not compute so it made another subroutine to find out if they were evil & it must have decided yes by the display today."

Ronnie opened his mouth again to say something but jane was quicker. "Why would you have notes on Chad & Ronnie?"

"They crashed the Lair Legion Christmas party in England a few years ago. They were Anomalies to me, I made some notes. Asked my Library's A.I. for info on them, she gave me some. It wasn't much. But, I went on to other endeavors, other more important topics of research. Apparently there is a lot on them, most of it random but still an amazing amount of info on them out there. More then with average people." Lee said like he was remembering something.

He then laughed. "That's rich. Some of the origins those people came up with. Birthed from an Egg on a Mountain top."

"How do you know that? Your Doppleganger researched all that?" Catherine said.

"I have special powers that involve the transfer of information, I took some from it."

"oh." Catherine replied.

"So, what's going to happen to it now?" Jane asked. Ronnie had since given up try say anything.

"Probably my faith assistant will take it down to one of the lower levels & beat the crap out of it, like he normally does with most obsolete pieces of equipment here at the MPL."

There was a few moments of silence. Ronnie knew he could speak now.

"So, how do we get back home?"

"Simple." Lee said & took a small rectangular device out of his pocket. He pressed a button & the group was gone.

---------------


Later on, standing at the reference desk is on the robotic avatars where a piece of the MPL's A.I.'s, known as D.D. consciousness was residing. The A.I. was was speaking with the Library's majordomo, A.L.F.RED.

"Another robotic clone gone mad?" D.D asked.

"Yes." A.L.F.RED said.

"I guess it's understandable. Lee had me working on entering in the info on those two Men & it's was confusing. Almost enough to drive anyone mad."

"Possible. But, why do you think the doubles continue to think they are Master Bookman?"

"Not Sure. He expects them to act him, do as he would do. Basically be him, plus they can think & that can lead to dangers."

"Yes. So, do you think our Master Bookman is the really one?"

"Not sure. I was thinking about that. We could reset all the Doubles to there original settings but then that might do more harm then good."

"True. True. We'll just have to believe we have the one true Mister Bookman. Speaking of him, where is he?"

"In the Legion's File Room cleaning up, apparently the double was a bit lax in it's cleaning duties."

"Very Well." A.L.F.RED said & went off to dust leaving D.D. to ponder.

---------------

THE END.


Links to the other three parts:
Part 1: Night's End
Part 2: Midnight Conversation.
Part 3: It's 2 a.m. & the Search for Knowledge continues.


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